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Thursday, December 28th, 2006
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9:11 am - Because they are funny...
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| Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
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7:42 am
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7:36 am
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| Thursday, April 20th, 2006
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7:35 pm
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| Saturday, April 8th, 2006
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10:26 am - Birthday Meme
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Go to Wikipedia, look up your birth day (minus year), and chose 3 facts, 2 births and a death.
October 9:
Events:
1000 - Leif Ericson discovers Vinland, becoming the first known European to set foot in North America.
1871 - The Great Chicago Fire is brought under control.
1992 - A 13 kilogram (est.) meteorite lands in the driveway of the Knapp residence in Peekskill, New York, destroying the family's 1980 Chevrolet Malibu.
Births:
1585 - Heinrich Schütz, German composer (d. 1672)
1835 - Camille Saint-Saëns, French composer (d. 1921)
1873 - Carl Flesch, Hungarian violinist (d. 1944)
Death:
1958 - Pope Pius XII (b. 1876)
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, April 7th, 2006
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7:37 pm
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a n g e r section.
do you have a quick temper?: No. But oh yes, I do get angry, at least when something feels threatening to me in some way... when I feel that I have been or am being violated in some way, that is when I get angry.
what do you do when you're mad?: I try to take a breather. If it is one of my weak areas, and thus something that I feel I need to defend myself against, then the next step that will happen instead of the anger fading is that it might turn into an introspective stew and make me stressed and unhappy. Anger usually doesn't last long with me--it turns into hurt or depression very quickly unless I am either engaged in trying to sort through it with someone or if I am acting on it. If I act on it, either verbally or physically or another way, I usually feel pretty bad or sick to my stomach. However I try very much to notice anger when I feel it, and NOT act on its impulses. I never EVER feel justified acting in a hurtful way towards others because of anger. I don't believe anyone is ever justified to act out hurtfully for any reason, although we all do it. Not justified, but forgivable as we are only human.
what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?: I don't know. I used to attack and punch and bite people all the time in grammar school.
if you can take back time, would you have never done this?: No. I learn from everything I do, and if not done, the lesson would be lost. Everything happens for a reason.
ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: Yes, my cousin Thomas. He was squirting soap all over me and I grabbed him to get the soap dispenser away from him. I grabbed him too hard, but it was not with intent to hurt him.. I just needed to get the soap back, so my flash of anger made me feel, and I did not at all care about being gentle. Since then I have tried to be more conscious. Another time I made him cry, though this was not a physical thing, was when he went into my room and started shooting off a cap gun at the parakeets. I went in there, turned him around, and said DO NOT do that very forcefully. I didn't do anything to hurt him and was careful not to that time, but he didn't expect my force of personality I suppose, and he ran up to his room and hid for a while.
ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?: Sure. All those kids in grammar school. I made some of them cry, too.
do you curse when you're mad?: Yes.
c r y i n g section.
when was the last time you really cried your heart out?: Last Sunday in church. I had to face my sense of worthlessness and realize that it did not matter if certain people thought me beyond repair or unlovable, because what people think is often not what is really true. I had to cry out the hurt of that and purge the woundedness so that I could be filled with the loving grace of God. I like Sundays. They're like my other therapy session.
ever cried yourself to sleep?: Yes.
ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Good Lord it seems like I should say yes but I can't think of one instance in my whole life where I've done that. o_O I've cried on the shoulders of non-physical people...
ever cried over the opposite sex?: Lots of times.
do you cry when you get an injury?: Not a physical one. I think I ALMOST did after the horse stepped on my toe and I saw the toe all bloodied and toenail broken in half, but I was really more screaming than anything else.
do certain songs make you cry?: It depends on my mood as to which sort of music will make me cry. But yes, it does.
can you make yourself cry?: No. I wish I could, but it's a battle to get myself to the point of catharsis, which is not a good thing. 6.6
p a i n section.
what's the hardest thing you've ever had to go through?: I don't know. Everything is the 'hardest thing' until it's over and you see the lesson you learned from it. I guess I would have to say that the hardest thing is the thing you didn't learn from or that is so unconscious that it's just acting through you and you can't stop it. The Saboteur is very hard for me. My childhood wounds are very hard. Things like the Tony thing where I felt so threatened that I was unconsciously being extremely manipulative are very hard. I would say that the HARDEST thing is probably facing your own dark side and owning it. But that is also the most necessary and fruitful thing, too.
what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?: I'm sure that all of my friends can answer this for me from their own perspectives. What is the worst thing that I have done? I don't know. I think not being conscious of my dark side. That always causes the worst sort of hurt to others, what you are not even aware of.
ever had a painful break up?: Yes. But it was something learned from, and so thus has healed.
what about the old 'pain for pleasure'?: Like 'no pain, no gain'? All for it. If that phrase doesn't mean that, then I have no idea.
how depressed can you get?: I can get very depressed :D Usually, if I'm able to be aware of what's going on and not totally blinded by pain, then I choose not to fall into that downward sprial.
do you inflict pain on yourself?: Not consciously.
h a p p y section.
are you normally a happy person?: Sometimes.
what can make you happy?: Music makes me happy, a spiritual intervention by God makes me happy, some unexpected kindness from a person makes me happy, Rossi makes me happy, beauty makes me happy, doing creative things make me happy, art makes me happy. Seeing things in perspective makes me happy.
do you wish you were happier?: *shrugs*
what makes you the happiest?: When I feel like my life is going in the right direction, like I am moving forward. But it makes me happiest when I stop thinking that there are things to be UNhappy about.
is being happy overrated?: Nope.
what about being with your friends, does that make you happy?: It depends on my mood.
can music make you happy?: Yes! @_@ Music is amazing like that. Either playing it, or listening to an excellent performance, or playing music WITH people... even recordings can calm me down, but they have a much more limited effect.
l o v e section.
how many times have you had your heart broken?: Lots of times. By friends, lovers, parents, basically anyone I ever felt betrayed by. It's just a matter of remembering that others are just as wounded and don't know what to do.
do you still have feelings for any of your old significant others?: I'm still friends with most of them, but no.
have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?: Yes, and this doesn't just mean, I don't believe, that you'd take a bullet for them, or anything as recognizably noble or heroic as that. It means putting them before you--of dying to your own interests, needs, comfort, to see that theirs are met. In that case, yes, I think I have loved people that much, at varying times, but not constantly. It is easier to do with animals and strangers, I think, than with people you know well or who know you well.. people that have more stake. Where there are more wounds it is far harder not to be focused on your own needs, where you feel they are lacking. Now that I've gone into a big philosophical discourse on this.
did you ever love someone, tell them that, and only got 'thanks' as a reply?: Yup! :D *whaps Rossi*
ever loved someone so much, it hurt and made you cry?: Yes.
has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?: No. Everyone I got romantically involved with was a friend first.
ever stopped a relationship because they didn't say 'i love you'?: Apparently I have unconsciously.
h a t e section.
who do you actually hate?: No one.
ever made a hit list?: No.
have you ever been on a hit list?: AF's. :D
are you a mean bully?: Used to be. Probably still can be, although not consciously anymore.
do you hate any one that breaks your heart?: No.
do you hate George Bush?: No.
s e l f - e s t e e m section.
is your self-esteem extremely low?: Yes.
do you believe in yourself?: I try to, only because I know that God does. And God knows me and my potential far better than I do. I do believe in myself, but on a deeper level, there is a lot of internalized junk that does not believe in myself.
when people say they think you are pretty, do you deny you are?: No. Beauty is in the eye of beholder, so what others think of me is not a reflection on me, it's a reflection on them. Otherwise everyone would agree on who is pretty, wouldn't they?
are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?: No. I don't think I'm any of those. I don't waste my time on shallow stuff like that--I have enough to deal with being one of those idiots who thinks I am incapable, wrong, and deluded.
are you happy with who you are?: Yes. Even though that seems to include being a rejected, introspective, troubled, intelligent, creative, multiple. That is the pain, struggle, and glory, that I was created for, apparently.
do you wish you can be someone else?: No.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 25th, 2006
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7:07 pm
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Siddhartha Gautama
You two would probably really get along! |
| Founder of Buddhism "All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?" |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 69% on Intuitive |
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You scored higher than 36% on Structured |
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You scored higher than 92% on Mildness |
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You scored higher than 8% on Traditional |
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 16th, 2006
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6:48 am
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 | You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan | | 89% | Emergent/Postmodern | | 86% | Roman Catholic | | 79% | Neo orthodox | | 71% | Classical Liberal | | 57% | Charismatic/Pentecostal | | 50% | Modern Liberal | | 32% | Reformed Evangelical | | 25% | Fundamentalist | | 18% |
What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com |
Deh!? o.o
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
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7:46 pm
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| Friday, February 17th, 2006
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2:03 pm
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| Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
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8:26 pm - Eggy eggy eggy
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| Sunday, January 29th, 2006
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4:32 pm
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 | You scored as True Alternative. You are a True Alternative! Labels do not suit you well, particularly as you tend to strike your own path and to grow purely via experience. No armchair quarterbacking for you! Originality and creation are your specialities, and sometimes you can even articulate what the hell just happened. Someday you may find yourself drawing the maps for other people... lots of other people.
True Alternative | | 80% | White Lighter | | 80% | Otherkin | | 75% | Spiritualist | | 65% | Mystic | | 50% | Aimless Eclectic | | 40% | Magician | | 40% | Discordian | | 15% |
What Subversive Alternative Paradigm Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
I can't believe I scored so high on whitelighter. Like, yuck.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 12th, 2006
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12:36 pm
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Your Social Dysfunction:
Normal
Being average in terms of how social you are, as well as the amount of self-esteem you have, you're pretty much normal. Good on you.
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.
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This is refreshing. Though I am on the cusp of being depressed and near to being avoidant or schizotypal. That seems about right.
| Your arch-nemesis is: | Friedrich Nietzsche |
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| Why? | Because they saw you singing in the rain and told everyone |
| The winner will be... | You are going to kill them |
| Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
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*snerk*
RAVEN - Your daemon may be a member of the crow
family. You are intelligent, observant, and
gregarious. Just as a crow or raven picks shiny
objects out of the dirt, you pick up tidbits of
information or ideas and store them away. You
have a good sense of humour, but sometimes lose
patience with people who are antipathic to your
nature. You are swift to alert others when you
find the truth, and you have no tolerance for
those who would hide it.
What Is Your Daemon?
brought to you by Quizilla
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 12th, 2005
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8:36 pm
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| Friday, December 9th, 2005
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12:27 pm - Philsopher Quiz
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My Results:
1. Spinoza (100%)
2. Aquinas (98%)
3. St. Augustine (82%)
4. Epicureans (78%)
5. Aristotle (74%)
6. Jean-Paul Sartre (72%)
7. John Stuart Mill (68%)
8. Jeremy Bentham (60%)
9. Nietzsche (54%)
10. Ayn Rand (53%)
11. Ockham (52%)
12. Prescriptivism (51%)
13. Stoics (51%)
14. Plato (51%)
15. Kant (50%)
16. Nel Noddings (38%)
17. David Hume (33%)
18. Thomas Hobbes (28%)
19. Cynics (21%)
HURRAY! I was expecting to get Aquinas way up there, and I guess even Augustine being at 82% isn't that surprising. Some of these questions were confusing because I don't think in words like that. X_x But I don't even know who Spinoza is. .... and I have no idea what a determinist is, either, although it says that's what he is... http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/spinoza/ Remind me to go read that sometime.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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4:16 pm - Food for thought...
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Our Covenant:
As a member of the Goodenough Community, I commit to being the best version of myself:
By entering fully into life’s experiences;
By giving my self fully to the process of transformation through the expression of love;
By trusting the good intentions of each one of us;
By relating to others with respect and acceptance;
By making and keeping agreements with great care;
By being constant through conflict;
By honoring leadership in others as a method to develop the leader in myself;
By taking responsibility for my unique and significant role in the world;
By acknowledging the inner and interconnectedness of all creation, thus being safe and at home in the universe.
So be it!
And what really meant a lot to me to find... really inspired me...
From ![[info]](http://www.deadjournal.com:8080/userinfo.gif) orphicart on Livejournal:
Personally, I've distanced myself from seeking a relationship because the one I want to have is going to take a lot of work on my part to draw into my life. There are a lot of areas I've neglected that I'm connecting with my "masculine" side to get going, to honor myself. Part of this energy also is not abandoning something I started just because I lack confidence in my own abilities, my feminine is wounded but that doesn't mean I have to let the wounds run the show. It's a signal I need to heal something, not that I need to abandon something. I'm loving myself enough to STAY with myself, and to see things through. My dreams, my career, and my projects. This is how I honor my masculine, and how he protects my feminine and honors her, in an internal relationship first.
current mood:  confused
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
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7:58 pm
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 | You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.
Cultural Creative | | 100% | Idealist | | 88% | Postmodernist | | 75% | Romanticist | | 75% | Existentialist | | 63% | Fundamentalist | | 50% | Modernist | | 25% | Materialist | | 13% |
What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 28th, 2005
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10:44 am
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Monday Meme 28 : 2005-11-28 : Make it Count 3
1. Name the 1 song that makes you think of December the most:
Handel's Messiah.
2. List the last 2 hot beverages you drank:
Tea, and... tea. Harlem honeybush, whatever that is.
3. List 3 things you hope to accomplish before the end of the year:
Getting a job..
Finding some good music teachers..
FINISHING MY NOVEL@&#@&^!@%
4. List 4 people you have to buy holiday gifts for:
Nobody. I'm not into the consumeristic gift-giving idea. If I know somebody wants something and I'm able to get/give it, then I'm happy to, but I'm not going to do gifts just for the sake of doing them. That's why I want you all to fill out the holiday wishlist meme that's always going around so that I can see what people want/need.
5. List 5 things that are on your holiday wishlist:
Uhm.. *thinks* Job, music teachers, hand-held tape recorder for my music practice, my Four Seasons picture colored, and... I can't think of anything else.
I was the 35th person to take this week's Monday Meme!
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, November 25th, 2005
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7:59 pm
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| Thursday, November 10th, 2005
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9:34 am
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 | You scored as Angel. Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.
Angel | | 83% | Dragon | | 67% | Faerie | | 58% | Mermaid | | 25% | WereWolf | | 17% | Demon | | 0% |
What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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(comment on this)
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8.3
7.4
5.3
7.1
2.9
2.3
6.2
